Recently, my Ardently His sister, Jess, shared a podcast on prayer that stirred something in me. Not because it was new—but because it echoed something the Lord has been slowly reshaping in my heart for the last few years, particularly after several hard losses.

My mom passed away in February of 2021.

And I can honestly say—I had never prayed like I did while she was sick.

I was on the floor in the chapel for hours.
Pleading.
Crying.
Believing.

I remember imagining the Lord’s hands on her as she lay in a coma on a ventilator. I prayed boldly. I prayed faithfully. I asked for healing with everything in me.

And He didn’t heal her the way I asked.

He took her to Heaven.

My faith, particularly in prayer, was shaken. I knew He heard me. I knew He was sovereign and that He willed the outcome, but what about His promises about a faithful prayer. Scriptures like Matthew 7:7–8 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

I needed to make sense of why my prayer wasn’t effective.

I was still spiritually wrestling with this question when, in 2022, my pastor preached a sermon called “Effective Prayer”-and it turned everything upside down for me.

In it, Jason pointed out that prayer has become so much about us, our comfort, our will, and not the will of God, that it is no longer effective or powerful. I sat with this thought for a long time. Are my prayers effective? Am I asking the wrong thing? Does my communion with God reflect what I really believe about Him and who I am in Him?

I believe His plans are perfect.
I believe His will is good.
I believe what He purposes will come to pass.

That’s how I read Scripture.
That’s how I teach.
That’s how I worship.

But if I’m being honest…that’s not always how I prayed.

The sermon asked the question…

If God’s will is already perfect…why am I trying to change it?

And if God is truly sovereign…if His plans are perfect and unchanging…then what is prayer actually for?

I went to the Word. What God revealed to me changed everything about my prayer life. I want to share some of the scriptures with you.

1 John 5:14
“And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.”

Luke 22:42
“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”

Matthew 6:10
“Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

Philippians 4:6–7
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God… will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

James 4:3
“You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”

Matthew 6:8
“Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

James 4:3
“You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly…”

John 15:7
“If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”

At first glance, these verses can sound like: “If I ask hard enough or with enough faith, God will give me what I want.”

But when you hold them together with the rest of Scripture, a fuller picture emerges:

• “In my name” → aligned with His character and will
• “Abide in me” → your desires are being shaped
• “According to His will” → not independent of it
• “Ask wrongly” → motives matter

The truth of prayer began to take shape for me.

Prayer is not God bending to our will.

It is our hearts being shaped until what we ask matches His will,

Because when you look at Jesus…
When you look at the disciples…

That’s not how they prayed.

“Your will be done.” That was the posture.

Jesus Himself prayed that way.

Not my will. Yours.

And the disciples? They didn’t pray for their circumstances to change nearly as much as they prayed for boldness within them—for the advancement of the kingdom, no matter what came.

And that’s the point, isn’t it? Boldly advancing the kingdom no matter what.

Truth began to take root.

Prayer was never meant to change God’s perfect will.
It was meant to draw me into it.

In those moments on the floor, something was happening, even if I didn’t know it at the time.

My dependence deepened.
My trust was stretched.
My heart was being aligned, even through grief, with a God who is still good…still sovereign…still right.

Prayer didn’t change the outcome.

It changed me.

Somewhere along the way, I think I started treating prayer like a way to get God to act, a way to influence outcomes, and, if I’m honest, a way to feel disappointed when He didn’t.

For so long, I thought prayer was about accessing God’s power.

But the Gospel shows me something better.

Prayer is access to God Himself.

We don’t pray to inform Him.
We don’t pray to convince Him.
We don’t pray to override His plan.

We pray because, through Jesus, we’ve been invited into the presence of our Father.

It is why He went to the cross.

His sacrifice wasn’t so I could come to God like a genie…
Or try to bargain with Him…
Or become frustrated when things don’t go the way I hoped.

His sacrifice did something so much better. It tore the veil and changed everything.

We were no longer separated.
We no longer needed someone to go before God on our behalf.

Now, because of Jesus, we get to come directly to Him.

Ephesians 1 tells us that in Christ, we already have “every spiritual blessing”

So instead of constantly asking God to give us something…

Prayer is us stepping into what we’ve already been given? HIM!

Ardently His,

Jen

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