“Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, ‘You are God Who Sees”; for she said, ‘Have I not even here [in the wilderness] remained alive after seeing Him [who sees me with understanding and compassion]?”  Genesis 16:13 [AMP]

Have you ever felt unseen?  I can think of many times that I have felt unseen, unheard, and even unloved.  Each time, I was faced with a lie from my enemy.  It’s easy to lean into feelings, but it’s more important to remind ourselves of God’s truth. He never takes His eyes off of us!

In 2013, I was going through a dark and lonely season.  I had experienced a miscarriage, and that was paired with a difficult season at work filled with unmet goals and expectations. I was also experiencing high turnover on my team.  Anyone who has worked in management knows that staffing and maintaining the right team are often tough parts of the job. 

One morning in late December, after pulling my car into the parking lot, I sat in my car and cried out to God in a whisper, “I’m so glad that 2013 is almost behind me.  So much bad has happened.  I’m tired of all the hard things, and I’m ready for a new start.”  Immediately, the Holy Spirit reminded me that God is sovereign, and nothing I faced was outside His control.  He allowed everything I faced to touch me for my good and His glory. (Romans 8:28)

That hit me hard.  There I was, feeling sorry for myself and, honestly, very alone in my efforts of trying to achieve work goals, build the right team, and heal from the disappointment and physical and emotional trauma of a miscarriage.  I was actually working against myself by not leaning into Him and thinking that turning the page on a calendar would fix anything. I felt seen when He revealed that to me.  He is and was sovereign over even the smallest details of my life, and He uses everything to mold me into more of a likeness of Jesus. 

After my miscarriage, a dear friend shared a box she decorated with one of the names of God, El Roi.  It’s a Hebrew name for God that means The God Who Sees Me.  The box was crafted from thin, delicate wood that reminded me of how fragile we can feel during hard seasons.  And the letters El Roi were beautifully embroidered in a way that truly pointed to His glory and majesty. I placed it on my dresser and saved the ultrasound photo of our sweet little one inside the box.  It was a beautiful reminder of my loving Father who never takes His eyes off of me. 

The story in Genesis 16 is about Hagar. She was the mistress of Abram’s wife, Sarai. She had given her to Abram to bear a son. The story tells us that she was impatient waiting for God’s promise of a son, and she took matters into her own hands to bring about the word of God.  How often do we do that? We hear God, but we grow impatient waiting for the fulfillment of His promises, and we take on burdens we were never meant to carry. When God makes a promise or establishes a covenant with His people, He’s the only one who can carry the weight of the responsibilities. He brings it to fruition. 

We know the end of the story.  Hagar and Sarai become enemies because of jealousy.  Hagar does bear a son for Abram, Ismael, but he isn’t the promise God made to Abram.  He’s the enemy’s counterfeit.  After becoming pregnant, she endured harsh treatment and humiliation from Sarai, and Hagar fled. Tired and weary, she stopped at a spring.  That’s where the Angel of the LORD found her and asked her where she was coming from and where she was going.  And she responds by calling Him El Roi.  What a beautiful reminder this story is to us when we are brokenhearted about a hard season!  God never takes His eyes from us.  He is with us, and He sees us!  He looks at us with compassion and kindness. I love that this story has similarities to Jesus and the woman at the well in Samaria. Jesus always meets us where we are. 

Take a look back on your life. When did Jesus meet you when you needed Him most?  What hard seasons has He allowed to sanctify you and bring glory to His name? 

Jesus told us, “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; but rather be afraid of Him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two little sparrows sold for a copper coin? And yet not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered [for the Father is sovereign and has complete knowledge].” Matthew 10:28-30 [AMP]

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me. 

Ardently His, 

Jessica

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