“He is worthy of it all. From Him are all things and to Him are all things. He deserves the glory.”

I sang these words this past Sunday and it took me back to a time when I clung to the lyrics of this song because it felt like all I had. If you have ever experienced a significant trauma in your life, then you know that there is a timeline before the event and a timeline after the event. You know in your deepest soul that things will never be the same again. August of 2019 was the fracture in the timeline of my life and family. 

Family as we had known it for so long was over. For the next few years, I experienced deep loss and grief. I was angry and confused about why things had to happen the way they did. I had been a loving mother and devoted wife. I put my family first always. None of what I was going through made sense. Why would my loving and good Father allow this to happen to us?! 

One day at church, the worship team sang this song. I sang the words “You’re worthy of it all. For from You are all things and to You are all things. You deserve the glory” desperate to find a foundation in it’s truth as I was losing my footing and probably my sanity. I did not want to glorify Him in my pain. I was metaphorically shaking my fist at God while also trying to praise Him. He met me there.

The Holy Spirit quickened in me. Your children are a gift that have become idols in your life. I need you to put your faith in me and trust me with them.

“But God, this is not how I imagined things would turn out. I cannot save them. I cannot put our family back together. I cannot see how this is what is best  for them.”

Do you make their heart beat? “No”

Do you draw breath into their lungs? “No” 

Do you want to? “No” 

You can trust me with them. You can trust that my plans are good even when you don’t understand them. 

“How do I do that?” Let them go. 

“How?” Open up your hands. This way you can release the false control and pain that you are holding tight to and receive other gifts I have for you. Your children were never meant to be your identity or your source of joy.

Opening my hands was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. In fact, when things felt out of my control, I have had to regularly remind myself to open them again. But you know what? As I continued to practice giving my family back to Him, it has become easier and easier to trust Him with every other aspect of my life. From Him are my finances and to Him are my finances. From Him are my friendships and to Him are my friendships. From Him is my health and to Him is my health. From Him is my marriage and to Him is my marriage. I can trust His perfect plan for all things and in this way, I am free from idols that can never bring me true joy.

In its place, I have received the gifts of true joy, peace, identity, a deeper understanding of God, and a more steadfast faith in His sovereign will in all circumstances. 

I don’t know what you are holding tight to, what you have made an idol, what you have found your identity in or what feels out of control. Maybe it is a circumstance that is taking every ounce of joy or hope out of your life. I encourage you to open up your hands and receive the gifts that your loving Father has for you. You can believe  Him when He says,” For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” in Jeremiah 29:11. His ways are always higher than ours. 

It has been nearly 6 years of sanctification in this area. As I sang this song this past Sunday, I was worshiping with open hands and a heart of gratitude and not confusion or anger. Things are not the same, and may never be, but they are very good because HE is good.  I count it all joy. All that I have in this life are gifts of His goodness and grace. It all belongs to Him. He is worthy of it all.

Ardently His,

Jenifer

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